I am feeling so much better now -- I have accepted that that horrendous race happened, and I am now moving forward. I got together with my coach Spencer and he told me that it (meaning cycling in general and races in particular) wasn't worth doing if I wasn't going to have a good time. We then discussed my VO2 max numbers and stuff like that. A VO2 max is the highest rate at which oxygen can be taken up and utilized during exercise by a person. What it means is that the higher your number, the more fit you are. Mine was pretty good and I am happy with it - it means that my heart and lungs are in great shape -- a very good thing!

We also talked about my weight a little bit (because with all this work and effort and training, it hasn't changed at all) and Spencer has suggested that I should add in more protein and cut out all simple sugars, desserts, and other empty calories. I agreed to do it, but this morning, as I was facing a day without chocolate, what popped into my head was what he said about "if it isn't fun, why bother doing it?" Well, I am not having fun right now. At all. I feel like I want to go directly to the grocery stores and buy a 3 pound bag of M&Ms (peanut)and go to town. I hope this passes quickly. I tried to squelch that feeling by taking the guys to the park. Unfortunately, it started to rain and there was lightning, so we came home and are now trapped inside.

James is doing well in preschool and I think he is having fun there. His teacher is putting him in a pull-up at school and he is heading for the bathroom with the rest of the class. I am not holding my breath, but wouldn't it be nice if he potty-trained?